There are many causes of depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and anxiety. One such cause I have found is the inability to respect the boundary lines of others and set healthy boundary lines of our own.
Whether it is family, friends, romantic, acquaintance, or business relationships, etc. you MUST learn to set healthy boundary lines and learn to respect the boundary lines of others.
For example, if you love green and the loved ones in your life or acquaintances love blue, if the latter group insist you must love blue, it is important you don’t just succumb to the pressure because you don’t want to disturb the status quo, or you desperately want to be accepted or belong. This is because when you do, the essence of who you are begins to erode. It eats at you daily. Worse, your loved ones, friends, acquaintances, etc. will bring all things blue to you, expect you to participate in all things blue; and if you ever have the courage to say, I actually love green not blue, you better believe that many times than not, the response to your final assertion that you love green will result in isolation, ostracizing you, and acting like you committed a crime.
Be clear you love green from the onset and reinforce it continually till they learn to respect that you love green, not blue.
On the flip side, don’t expect everyone else to respect your boundary lines, but you don’t their own. You love green, they love blue. YOU CANNOT AND SHOULD NOT force them to love green. THEY DON’T. They can tolerate, support, or reject your love for green, and IT IS OKAY. Learn to move solo with the conviction of your own values and beliefs, so that it not only helps you improve your relationships but equally, and very importantly it helps with your self-esteem.
When you fail to set your own healthy boundary lines and respect that of others, it often will and does lead to feeling rejected, low self-esteem, and experiencing a continuous emotional roller coaster of highs and lows, depending on if you are validated on a given day or not. Don’t do that to yourself.
Republished article supporting mental health and wellness awareness.