You Don’t Have to Be Liked to Be Happy

I remember back in my early teens, a kid coming up to me and telling me he didn’t like me. I didn’t miss a beat. I told him I didn’t like him too because I honestly didn’t. What was weird was that he did not even fathom that I too had the choice not to like him, and could be just as vocal about it. He was visibly shocked at my response and proceeded to try to find out why I didn’t like him. I couldn’t be bothered to get into the details. I just told him I didn’t like him either and it just was what it was.

I am unsure if it is the result of my personal background, the society and socio-economic circumstances I grew up, etc. but being liked has never been a concern for me. It is why I also don’t ask for permission to show up as myself in all of the environments I have been placed in, so far so good.

Over the years, in my adult life, I have run into a few people like that kid who have also seemed taken aback when they have directly or indirectly tried to tell me they do not like me. It becomes clear to them I can’t be bothered and do not care.

When you live for other people’s validation, you go into spaces wanting to be liked. But when you live only for God’s validation, and have a strong constitution on who you are, and your identity, likability is simply not part of the equation. Being yourself, as authentically as you possibly can is and takes #1 priority.

Being yourself also means there are people that will resonate with you and there are people who won’t. It is so not a big deal. Similarly, there are people you will meet and just not like, sometimes with no explanation whatsoever. It is just a vibe or energy that conflicts with your spirit, regardless of how much you want to will the likability to happen. It is no big deal and natural.

Just find your tribe, have fun and keep things moving.

Step into your greatness, start now.

~Ms. Uduak

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